Some communication problems with peers happens with both children and adults. If your child is having some communications problems then help from an adult is not just needed, but necessary. If a child successfully passes the period of socialization in their childhood, which is important for development and personal growth in general, their adult life will be much easier.
Mums and dads often worry unduly if they see their small child of two or three years old not interacting with other children. At this age communication with the child’s closest family members is enough. However, if the child is around four years old or more and does not want to communicate with other children - it’s worth thinking about helping them.
A child of the preparatory group, from six to seven year old, should have developed a friendship with other boys or girls, or indeed several friends with whom they are comfortable talking spending their time with.
If the child does not want to interact with other children, then some help from their parents is required.
Some children really want to communicate and play with others, but then something happens and the excitement quickly disappears. Parents immediately need to understand what the reasons are.
- There are children whose parents spend most of their time at work and are always busy. These children can suffer from a lack of parental love and attention. They have to spend time on their own for many games or activities. Consequently, with time they become used to being on their own, and new encounters with their peers can be stressful for them. This is where inferiority complexes in children can appear.
- If any unpleasant incident happened in the child’s life which made them embarrassed, this can cause their self-confidence to disappear. Children quickly forget many unpleasant things, but if something strongly offended them, then the memory can remain for a long time.
- Children who prefer calm games and silence find it more difficult to find friends than those who prefer large groups and noisy activities.
- If parents do not provide comfortable and consistent conditions for communication then it is difficult for them to learn how to make friends. For example: the child is constantly busy at different children’s clubs or other activities and classes, or these places change constantly, or perhaps a child’s family often move from place to place and, accordingly, playgrounds and children are always changing.
- It happens when parents do not communicate with their neighbors, or say unpleasant things about them or their children. in this case, the child may also think the same, and become afraid of meeting new people.
If a child doesn't have friends of their own age, it doesn't necessarily mean that they don't want to. Perhaps the child doesn't know how to achieve this.
Parents should, in this case, become involved to create the most comfortable conditions for them.
All children must have environments in society that remain the same - it can be a playground near home or a group in a kindergarten, where your child can find a friend. If the child finds a friend, they will understand how good it is to make friends.
Show by your own example that to have friends is great. Tell your child about your childhood friend and friends in your life. Children should see that their parents also have friendly conversations with other people. Go to visit people, go out with other families, etc. Bring the child and their peers to play various games with you.
Self-esteem is also an important aspect for a child’s ability to make friends. A parents role is to improve it constantly. Talk with your child more often and openly about different things, listen to their point of view and opinions, be interested in their achievements.
The best way to conduct these conversations is before bedtime, when you can chill with your child in bed and they cannot leave the conversation. Find out and analyze the situations they tell you about. You may find that there have been some controversial moments that happened between your child and other children.
Create a friendly and comfortable environment between family members, without conflicts and quarrels.
Children choose what to do by themselves.
Some of them like to run and chase a ball, while other children prefer to sit quietly on the side and watch a beautiful butterfly on a flower. You don’t need to impose your point of view and tell them who to be friends with.
When you forbid something to a child they as a sign of protest will often do the opposite. For example, when you are on a playground, if they sit next to you and do not go to play, you can offer to go home if they not having fun. You can try to make you child play with others in different ways, it is depends on their nature.
If all these methods fail, try to remember how you and your partner were in childhood. Maybe your child just hasn't met someone yet who they find it easy and comfortable to be friends with.
The most important task for parents is to teach the child to adapt to society. If, up to the age of seven or eight years old you have not managed this goal on your own, then you can seek the help of a child psychologist to help to solve this problem.