Most of and maybe even every parent, has faced a situation where their child was not telling the truth. And they ask themselves: Why does their child deceive? What is this connected with? All through childhood, everyone connected with the child teaches them to be honest. This starts with mum and dad and continues with books written and cartoons made on the subject and is followed up by educators in kindergarten and school, but it still happens. Why? Let's try to figure out the answer to this interesting question.
There are several reasons why children tell lies:
1. A child can tell a lie if too much is required of them. They cannot justify the excessive parental demands, and trying not to upset them, the child decides to lie.
2. The lack of trust by parents or other loved ones. This is one of the common causes of childhood lies.
3. A lie may appear in the case of over strict treatment. The child is simply afraid that they might be punished and therefore begins to lie.
4. Children can cheat on their parents because of their big love for them. Sounds weird, right? In this case, if mum or dad use such phrases as “Soon you will send me to the grave” when they find minor problems like paint on the walls in a room, a broken plate or a table made dirty with clay. Children remember this instantly and in order not to upset, and preserve the health of their parents, they make up things.
Between two and four years old, children are very fond of fantasizing and they can mix fiction and reality. At this age, you don’t need to bother the little dreamer, don’t stop them, it’s better for you to help make these fantasies real by drawing and show the little one that you also believe in it.
In the period between four to five years, children can already distinguish reality from deception. They understand that deceiving adults can work and so start to practice it. This happens to children who are afraid of disapproval from their mother or father. They do not want to lose parental love and this leads to deception.
For example, when you ask your child if they have tidied their room and the child, with complete confidence, says yes. This happens because the child does not want to upset their mum. In this case, it is important to talk openly with your child. Show that you are friendly and do not punish the child if they told you a lie. Each parent must show love to their child and appreciate the way they are. When the child sees and understands this, the need for deception will simply disappear.
If the child is seven years old, some changes are already beginning to occur in their life. They begin to go to school. At this age, children already need personal space.
Personal space is a room or a place where only they can go. If the child does not have such a place, then they start to deceive, trying to hide things. In this instance, you need to help to your child make their own personal place, of course, within reason. It is necessary to conduct a conversation with the child on the topic of independence, making clear that not everything is allowed. Perhaps the lie will be repeated, as the child "tests you for strength."
How can you stop your child from being deceptive?
The most important thing to remember in that in no case should you punish a child physically. Each parent must understand that this issue cannot be solved with the help of a belt.
Children understand everything, they also understand when they are doing things wrong. Because of this, even teenagers can become depressed, as they are afraid of punishment for what they have done and also because they have been deceptive, this can lead to them experiencing severe stress.
To help your child to stop being untruthful, it is necessary to find out the exact reason why they are lying. Be sure to have a heart-to-heart talk with your child, without any name-calling and voice raising. There is one very interesting way to get rid of lies - this is to conclude a written agreement or contract with your child. Suppose you agree with your child that you give them something that they have wanted for a long time, if they are always honest. However, in the case of cheating the contract is terminated. This agreement can be hung in a place where the child can always see it.
Do not treat this as a huge problem if it is not chronic and does not harm anyone. Just think about how many times a day adults are dishonest, look at the statistics. If a child who is three to five years old is caught cheating, then the revealed deception can be turned in a joke.
Try to control your feelings and emotions, as children feel adults emotions very well and understand when they are not telling the truth. Do not let your deception break the trust between you and your child.
Remember that all children are amazing and there are no bad children. It’s just that they want to convey to adults their own intention, with the help of untruths.