Probably, most parents sometimes encounter occasions when a children becomes stubborn. As the child is grows, they have already developed a certain temperament. Sometimes there are moments when the child will insist on their point of view. This is considered the norm. But when they become stubborn much more often and the child does not listen to others and constantly argues -It is necessary to think about why.
There are several reasons for a child's obstinacy.
Do not forget that children are not always obedient. They grow and change, they have their own point of view. But, children still do not have an established character, as in adults. Thus, they don’t always know how to behave in a particular situation. They cannot always express their emotions succinctly and this is a reason why they begin to be stubborn and capricious. Therefore, when a child becomes stubborn, parents need to teach them to express their point of view correctly, and learn how to find common ground, solve the problem together and learn how to negotiate.
Causes of childhood obstinacy may arise from the following cases:
- there are children who are stubborn from birth – this is feature of temperament.
- if the parents have too high expectations of the child, if a lot of things are forbidden - accordingly, the child begins to protest and becomes stubborn.
- if the parents are overprotective of their child. Each person needs their own space. So with children - they also need personal space. Let them do some things by themselves and make their own decisions. Don’t do everything for your child.
- if the child is allowed absolutely everything that they want, once the time comes when they will have to follow certain rules they can protest through stubbornness.
- There are age-related crises in children. These are crises of three years, five years, seven years and from 11 to 16 years. In these periods stubbornness may manifest, the child may react violently to many things, but this crisis should pass. Even if your child has an age crisis, do not be afraid, this is necessary for the development of their personality.
To cope with this problem, it is necessary to identify the reason why the child is stubborn.
1. Do not forget that all children have the right to express their opinion or point of view and to show their emotions, both positive and negative. They can be in a bad mood, can manage their toys by themselves, can decide what to do (walk, play, draw, and so on).
2. Invite the child to make a choice. For example, what jacket to wear today to the kindergarten, or what will it be for dinner-mashed potatoes or pasta?
3. Show respect to your child, and they will reciprocate. After all, the child is a person and they have their own needs, interests and abilities.
4. Use games. Children are very fond of playing, so why not use it. For example, when your child is going to kindergarten. Suggest to them a race to get dressed first.
5. Do not forget to use your imagination with children, they also love to fantasize.
6. Try to pay attention to what happens in your child's life. What feelings they have, what happened to them during the day while they were in school or kindergarten. Children can also become upset, and you shouldn't compare your problems with their own. Do not say it's not a big deal-to them it is. It is best to talk heart to heart, build a trusting relationship and find solutions to the child’s problem.
7. Reformulate things you forbid the child to do to make them positive. For example, “You can’t run along the road” - you forbid it, but “Walk along the side, there is no danger” - this is a requirement.
8. Try to talk more with your children, learn how to be closer to them.
9. Let to your child make mistakes which their stubbornness may cause, so they will learn to analyze and understand what exactly was wrong.
10. Do not be categorical, avoid such as phrases "As I said, it will be so".
11. Try not to conflict with other members of the family in front of your child; keep calm.
To conclude our article, we would like to say one thing, be closer to your children and love them. After all, they always need parental care, warmth and attention.