Probably, many of us have seen situations where children play together amicably, but suddenly some quarrel happens. Children swear, scream, cry, and blame each other. Any adult will try to understand this situation, try to find out who is right or guilty, and then try to achieve the conciliation of both sides. Often, the instigator pleads guilty and apologizes. The other side, however, continues to be offended and does not want forgive the offender at all. They may leave the game and ignore the other child for a long time in order to demonstrate that they still having a bad feeling.
A task of every parent is to teach their child to forgive when they have been offended, to adequately respond to quarrels and other situations, and not to hold a grudge with people who have offended them. If a child doesn't learn these things, in the future they will face difficulty in society as such people are avoided by others.
Parents should tell their child why this needs to be learnt, because these negative emotions can be harmful. It is necessary to tell them that it’s hard to live with resentment, that over time it is depresses the one who keeps this feeling. They need to know that when they forgives the offender, this feeling of heaviness will disappear, that reconciliation is good. This way is difficult, but necessary for every person.
The following things should also be explained to your child: they may stop communicating with the offender – that is their right. But, the resentment should not remain inside their mind. Speak about an example from your life experience when you had a quarrel with someone and how you resolved it. How did this quarrel affect you in the future? Also, clarify that sometimes no one is the guilty party in a conflict, perhaps two people just misunderstood each other.
It is important to understand the magnitude of the child’s problem. It may seem to you unimportant and nonsense, but not to your child. Be sure you include everything that happened with your children and do not leave these situations unresolved.
It is important for your little one to receive support and attention from their relatives. This will protect them from feelings of loneliness and fear, and your child will not withdraw into themselves. A trusting relationships with your children is the key to success. Talk openly with your child so that you can help them find solutions to various situations that occur in life. Help them learn how to cope with negative experiences properly at an early age, this will help in the future resolution of conflict situations.
Push the child to make the right decision. Let’s imagine the situation. Your child is offended by someone.
Their anger is very justified- all the children like to show everyone they have been insulted, so everyone will notice it. This also gives the offender the opportunity to apologies and show remorse. But, unfortunately, this does not always happen. Tell your child that waiting for an apology is not worth it. That they just need to understand and accept the necessary experience from this situation and move forward.
Teach your child to understand their offender. Help your child to understand the essence of the conflict and what the offender's motivation was. Maybe your child turned out to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Perhaps the "villain" was in a bad mood or was tired, and decided to take it out on your child. Analyze the situation together. Thus, your child will learn to empathize with other people, shifting the focus from always being just on themselves. It is necessary to help them to consider the conflict situation from different angles. This will help your child to understand and forgive the offender. Tell them that even adults do things wrong and everyone has the right to make a mistake.
Children cannot always understand their own feelings. Preschool children are completely immersed in negative emotions and do not know how to take control of their actions.
Be sure you tell your child that you empathize with them and are always ready support and help them, no matter what. After all, the support of a loved one is very important and necessary for any person. All children copy behavior from their parents and the task of mum and dad is to set a positive example for their children.
It is necessary for negative emotions to be released. But, you need to properly teach the child to release them without harming the other people who are around.
Get a special pillow that the child can hit, thereby releasing negative emotions, or you could allow them to tear sheets of paper.
Do not put pressure on your child. If they are offended, then give them the opportunity to take time out on their own and think about what has happened. Do not force them to forgive the offender. You just need to talk openly about what happened and the child will decide what to do.