About three-year old children's crisis

three-year crisisYour baby is in its third year, and everything is going well. They know how to speak, are potty trained, and all of a sudden, they completely change. They become moody, begin being fussy and have frequent tantrums without any reason. If you are an experienced parent, then you can understand what is happening. This is a new growing phase for your child. No need to run to the child phycologist-this is perfectly normal!


What is the three-year crisis all about?


This crisis at around three years old is a very important period in the life of your child. This is a crisis of social relations. If your child is experiencing it, then you need to embrace it, because the development of your child is continuing in the normal way. The peak of this crisis can be between the ages of 2.5 - 3.5 years and can last from one month to a year, all children will experience it in different ways.


Symptoms of a three-year crisis:

  1. Stubbornness;
  2. Willfulness;
  3. Negativism;
  4. Protest riot;
  5. Shyness;
  6. Depreciation;
  7. Despotism;


How to understand that the crisis has begun?

  • The child wants to do everything on their own and begins to separate from adults.
  • Your child has become more likely to utter phrases such as: “I want,” “by myself.”
  • Symptoms of jealousy and greed could appear- especially if there is a second child in the family.
  • The child becomes stubborn in everything.
  • They may start to hurt others and do the opposite of what they are asked.
  • The child begins to demand more attention.
  • They wants to be the best in everything-here is parental support and praise are very important.

The reason for all this is that your child is growing up and becoming more independent.


How to help to your child to get through the three-year crisis.


  • Try to stay calm, do not attempt to argue. Let them know that tears and tantrums will not help to achieve anything.
  • Encourage your child to be independent and autonomous. Do not argue with them or impose your opinion, it is a time for them to learn about the world.
  • It is necessary to adhere to uniform rules-all family members should be informed, especially grandparents.
  • Be discreet and calm, let your child know that you are giving them time to make a decision.
  • Do not force your child to eat, it is likely they are not hungry. Also, let them choose the duration of meals.
  • If the child is willing to help you in the kitchen or help clean up the room by themselves, be sure that you allow them to do it, so that you will increasing their liking for tidiness and order.
  • Consult with your child in everything. For example, if you are going for a walk, ask your child which jacket or trousers they want to wear, or ask what they want to eat for lunch or dinner.
  • It is necessary to yield to the child in the little things.
  • Do not command - give to the child options from which to choose.
  • Never give ultimatums to them, try to find a common solution and let them decide.
  • If you see that the child can’t do something, then offer your help, if your offer is refused, let them do it as well as they can, do not impose your help. You can always redo something later.
  • Show patience, kindness, love and affection for your children. Take care, praise, cheer, hug and kiss them. This is how you will build your child’s confidence and the feeling that they are loved.
  • If suddenly, you realize that you cannot cope with the crisis by yourself, then you can contact a professional child psychologist.
  • Do not compare the success of your child with other children, and if you do, never in front of a child.
  • Observe the child's day routine.
  • If the child is naughty, then distract them towards something interesting.
  • Do not bribe your child with purchases or toys in order to distract them from hysterics.
  • Creativity is a quick way to cope with any emotion. To draw, sculpt, make a craft together with the child. Sand games also help.
  • Respect the child as a person, thank them, ask for their permission, be on an equal footing with them.

If a child has a pronounced crisis at three years, then teenager crisis will be less extreme.

Remember, that the crisis of three years will surely end and the time will come when communication with the child will be easy and calm. Do not forget to embrace and support your child as often as possible.

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