How to say «no» to children in positive way?

say no to child

Your children are growing up and their fast little hands can often roam to places where they are not supposed to be. We, as parents are not concerned by the fact that they may break or spoil something– it’s about the possibility that our child could hurt themselves and in extreme circumstances, endanger their life.


When your baby is one-year-old, they are already becoming acquainted with the words "no" and "don’t". But here, the question is raised-how is it possible to say no for the child’s own benefit without causing a negative emotional response?


All children are constantly learning about the world around them, and every detail for them is very exciting. If there is a ban from an adult, it’s very possible a child’s reaction could be tears and hysteria. This is how children expresses protest, and it is considered the norm.


Very young children cannot understand and accept the ban the first time, and the next day the same thing as the previous day is often repeated.


Most parents make one common mistake: they prohibit too much from their children. If a child constantly hears the word "no", then its meaning and significance is diluted and they will choose to take no notice.


Small children are little explorers-we should try not to spoil this interest in the world. Allow the child to be active when outside. Let them slide downhill or touch different objects. It is easy to wash their hands, face and clothes.


Three-year-old children cannot understand why certain behaviors which are acceptable when outside cannot be performed at home. In this situation you need to try to explain to the child, using positive words or distract their attention with a game.


Say the word "no" only when your child is really in danger. You cannot stick your fingers into the socket, touch a hot pot on the stove, bite and pinch. You cannot play with fire, run out on the road, or climb on the windowsill. You cannot hit glass objects or run away from parents. Everything else is possible. Allowing freedom of behavior will bring extra work to the parents. For example, an increase in house cleaning, washing soiled clothes, etc.


Be sure to explain the reason why the child shouldn’t do something.


A child of three already understands a lot more than before. They know where it is okay to draw and where it is not. Once they reach this level of understanding, the reasons that everything that was banned before, can now be explained. For example, when mother is ironing, you cannot touch the iron, because it is very hot and you can get burnt. If the iron is not in use unplugged, then you can.


Try to always explain to the child why you have to say “no”to them! The child must begin to recognize themselves what and why something is dangerous. Talk to the child in words that are understandable to them.


The child must understand the reason why he is not allowed to do some things. For example, let them touch a still warm (but not hot!) iron so that they can see that it is dangerous.


How to say "no" to children?


• Try not to raise your voice to the child. Speak calmly so that the child does not feel that you are angry. However, be sure that you make it clear that you are not satisfied with their behavior.
• Do not call names or insult the child. The child is a small person, don’t lower their self-esteem.
• Remember that you were also small once. Try to remember how you felt and put yourself in your child’s position.
• If the child continues to cry and scream, this is not the reason to cancel your ban. Sometimes it is very difficult to do, but you need to stand by the decision.
• Parents should have uniform rules. If one parent forbids something to a child, then the second one must support this.
• Children grow, and every year their abilities are developing. Allow the child to help you in the kitchen, to cut old magazines with scissors: now you can get safe scissors for children - but be sure to monitor this process and follow the safety rules.
• Children are our reflection. Teach them by your personal example. Do not use swear words in your speech, be punctual, respect your elders.
Make the amount of restrictions in the child’s life as few as possible and they will be easier to understand for the child.

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